IF HE CAN DO IT, SO CAN I

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IF HE CAN DO IT, SO CAN I

Sometime in the next couple of weeks, my baby is going to have a baby. That makes me, a baby myself on occasion, a grandfather. The whole grandparent thing has got me thinking. What do I do? What’s my role in this kid’s life? When do I speak up or shut up?

In the midst of all that angst, I remembered that Jim Carrey is a grandfather.

Feeling better.  I figure if this guy can do it, so can I.

Maybe I will try a few of Jim’s lines on the kid:

            – “I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m a day person.” (Once Bitten)

              – “The best thing about being a dentist. Pure pharmaceutical grade. Couple of lines of this, I could drill my own teeth.” (Peggy Sue Got Married)

             – “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’… I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush. (Bruce Almighty)

             – “Well, It’s cause you have big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge! I mean, I wanna squeeze em’! Oh, Mama!” (Liar Liar)

 

 

 

 

Carnival-Fat Tuesday-MARDI GRAS!

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Carnival-Fat Tuesday-MARDI GRAS!

Tomorrow starts the celebration. Mardi Gras, 2015. Although maybe a bit old to squeeze myself through the gin soaked streets of the French Quarter during carnival time, I can pass along a few of my favorite New Orleans haunts, that I urge you to visit – after the beads have been tossed:

  1. LAFITTE’S BLACKSMITH SHOP – Dirt floors and haunted by Pirates. Perfect.
  2. d.b.a. NEW ORLEANS – Maybe its the music. Maybe the bartenders who are plenty generous with the Templeton Rye. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
  3. ERIN ROSE – the theme is “local prices, local chaos, local love”. Check, check, check.

 

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Golden Retriever for President

Family

So, its becoming obvious Bush is running for President. Jeb, not George. Clinton, too. Hillary, not Bill. They may be joined by an assortment of others: Rand Paul (with that hair?), Mitt Romney (not again), Martin O’Malley (he buried Maryland in debt – might as well swing for the fences), just to name a few. What has become clear to me, however, is that a Golden Retriever needs to be elected President. Why you ask? Its simple:

– A President can’t do too much harm when napping
– Think of the money we will save on State dinners
– The annual White House Easter egg hunt becomes “must see TV”
– The State of the Union address will be particularly uplifting
– An administration focused on food and affection, two commodities in short supply

Card Game Soundtrack – “A” Side

Writing

Narrated by a burnt-out divorce attorney, CARD GAME is a story about life and loss among a group of now 50-year-old guys who have been playing poker together since they were about 16. Alternating back and forth between the 1970’s – when the card game boys first gather in a suburban Maryland basement – and today, at their friend’s funeral, to remember all they have faced together and, sadly, all they have not.

Not surprisingly, the music of the Seventies beats beneath the surface of the story. If there were a soundtrack to Card Game, and I can only hope that one day maybe there will be, these tracks would find their way on the “A” side:
• “I Don’t Want to Go Home”, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes
• “Night Fever”, the Bee Gees
• “I Wanna Be Sedated”, the Ramones
• “Its Over”, Boz Scaggs
• “Meeting Across the River”, Bruce Springsteen
• “Blackwater”, the Doobie Brothers
• “On the Dark Side”, John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band

 

 

Fatherhood – A Tough One

Family

Fatherhood – A Tough One.. Being a Dad is no walk in the park. Often it seems, no good deed goes unpunished, as they say. After stumbling through 26 years of parenting and striving to overcome my fair share of ineptitude, I think I have come upon one key to successful “pop-hood”: STAY. Stay connected, stay interested, stay involved. No matter how old they are, how much they say they don’t need you, how little they seem to care – ignore all that and just – STAY.

While we are on the topic, here are a few TV Dad’s that could use some help themselves:
1. Ned Stark, Game of Thrones – Proud, solid, decent. A family man. Got his head chopped off.
2. Walter White, Breaking Bad – Steals. Kills. He does cook, so there’s that.
3. Frank Gallagher, Shameless – “I would be crying too. If I wasn’t so high.”

 

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